I read Well, That Escalated Quickly

This week's book is Well, that Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist, Franchesca Ramsey's memoir.  This was recommended to me by the Chicago Public Library on their list of Bold Books by Black Women.

Franchesca is a you-tuber, who makes hair tutorial videos and sketch comedy pieces, and hit it big with a sketch called "Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls."  This launched her career both as a comedy writer and an activist.  Her memoir discusses the hurdles she had to go through of all the times she made mistakes and all the times success fell on her after years of hard work.

The part I appreciate the most from this book is her frank discussions of times she got it wrong.  She talks about how she went on TV for interviews after Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls went viral, and how, although she felt that the way she was so often treated smelled fishy, she didn't know the vocabulary to talk about racism with clarity.  She talks about how she got push back from the black community for that lack of clarity, how hurt that made her feel, and how she set out to educate herself so she would not offend again.  I appreciate her acknowledgement that people aren't born knowing everything about how racism works, and what's racist and why and how to stop it, even when they know that some things make them feel crappy, it's hard to stand up and say so and it's hard to articulate exactly what's wrong. 

This is something that gets glossed over a great deal: people make mistakes and then they learn.  Should we as a society drag someone for that one problematic thing they said that once?  Maybe, because then maybe they'll learn.  Maybe, because maybe the refuse to understand what they did wrong or to improve themselves and stop doing it.  And Ramsey gets into that, how you need to call people out on their mistakes, but sometimes it's better to "call in," which is a fantastic concept and a great phrase.  "Calling out" is done publicly.  "Calling in" is taking someone aside and saying, "Hey, that's a problematic thing to say because of reasons, and I know it's hard, but here's some ways to do better."  And Ramsey talks about how this is emotionally draining, especially when whoever you're calling in gets offended and defensive and won't listen to you, even though you've been sympathetic and patient, and spent time trying to educate.

This book works really well, because Ramsey gives advice while also showing that she's made mistakes.  She's let rampant, racist, wild criticism online get under her skin.  She's been overly enthusiastic about calling people out online.  She's said things that were problematic.  But she shows that she was able to grow and learn from those mistakes, and that gives me hope that I can too.

***

Next week: The Hero and the Crown, vintage sword and sorcery by Robin McKinley.